I have couple of squirrels that visit me on the patio, that are trying to sneak some food from the bird feeder. I have observed them for awhile.
Here I will share my observations.
First, squirrel has the same haircut every time she comes to my balcony.
I did not discover any lipstick or other cosmetic products on squirrel while being on the balcony.
May be she uses it only when she goes out. Her nails have the same color every time she comes. Very strange.
I did not find any jewelry hanging from the squirrel. Squirrel does not seem to be interested in trimming grass or trees in surrounding area. I did not catch her smoking, drinking or using any substances in my balcony. I am wondering how she cuts her nails.
The timing for lunch and dinner is always different. I yet to discover her schedule of eating habits. How long is her lunch break?
Squirrel does not follow Ten Commandments as she steals the food from the bird feeder. Currently I am looking for a preacher to volunteer to convert the squirrel and teach her “good manners”. Someone with a knowledge about Savior is needed to save the squirrel as soon as possible.
I am not sure what squirrel does when she gets sick. Hopefully, CVS pharmacy is available for her. Currently I am working with drug companies to educate squirrels on the benefits of modern sciences.
I did not find squirrel to be in the state of depression during her frequent visits. I believe that she meditates or attends some yoga classes.
I think that she has an attention deficit disorder.
I can’t really talk about cases of insomnia because she did not report any of that to me.
I did not see any overweight squirrels yet. I tend to think that there is something wrong with squirrel’s society as they have no clue that McDonald's exist.
The air conditioning in the tree house is hard to discover, apparently squirrel disguises it very well.
The amount of fluoride added in her water is unknown till this time.
The washer and dryer connections are not available to squirrel.
I yet to find out who picks her garbage up and I do hope that she is “going green” and recycle.
The amount of junk mail was not reported to me either. The tax filing procedure is a mystery for me too.
From the birth squirrel is not being told by her parents that she needs to become somebody (get good education, career). She is a complete failure as she does not attend any educational facilities.
Police squirrels were not found anywhere. How can they live like that? No Police? Hopefully, crime rate is low in the forest. Otherwise I would call this chaos.
The political system of the forest is a mystery I yet to solve. It seems like they have a democracy where everyone is free. I need more time to confirm that. The election time is not reported to me either.
I can confirm that Christmas in not on her priority list since she was caught today deliberately enjoying the sun, instead of running in holiday shopping rush.
I am not sure what is her net worth and if she has any overdrafts. The retirement age is not reported at this time.
So, I came to conclusion that squirrel is a beggar, unemployed, without health insurance and food stamps. Squirrel is in need of our help. She needs to be introduced to our modern way of living.
We need to educate the squirrel that it is not good to shit all over the forest. The flushing system is much better.
I am looking for volunteers that agree to take on this challenging assignment and end the age of the darkness among squirrels. Please send me your resume with cover letter to be considered for this challenging position. I offer highly competitive compensation package including placing your name in the modern history. Ready to make a difference? Act Now.
There were two freedom fighters reported seen in the forest. They were fighting against the conquest of the neighboring squirrel’s clan that wants to rule the entire forest.
Today, I have heard an explosion under the tree close to my balcony. When the squirrel was questioned I was told that the terrorist squirrel blew herself up to kill squirrels that don’t believe in the same God. The terrorist is believed to rest in Haven now.
I worry as I did not see my squirrel for 3 days now. I have been told by another squirrel that operation “Enduring Freedom” is on the way to send the troops to end the tyranny in the neighboring forest. The official reason is to bring freedom to squirrels that reside there.
However, the true reason was told to me by one of the insiders. That forest has lot of nuts that can be stored for winter and the community really wants to get a hold of those supplies to meet an increasing demand for nuts this year.
Stay tuned for more squirrel updates.
Truth About Digital TV
Money as Debt
Black Friday Madness
How to Stop Watching TV
How to Stop Junk Mail
10 Facts About Pine Needles
How to Live Below Means
The Essene Gospel Of Peace
Life and Death
7 Day Fasting Diary
10 Tips For Successful Fasting
10 Day Raw Food Diet